I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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