the condom got lost in my hair
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
