Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
