That's when you crack a 10am beer
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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