More tranny stories later!
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
