Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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