Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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