I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
