I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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