I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Shame - the story of my life.
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