where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
