I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
