dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
