Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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