none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
