Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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