no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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