I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
as a side note pls kill me
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
