I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
