You're completely useless in the revolution.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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