i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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