sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think your dad took our porno
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize