I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
