Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
