I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
