I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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