did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
