Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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