Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
