I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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