I want to walk on stilts...naked
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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