Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize