I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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