I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
