not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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