Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
