i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
