should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
