Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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