I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize