her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Do you remember whose house we're in?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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