I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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