I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
