You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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