Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
