Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He passed out mid-signature
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
