You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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