I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
