Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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