Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
