I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
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Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
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That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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