State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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