your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
