she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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