God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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