I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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