i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
