some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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