plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
